Thursday, May 24, 2012

Worth it?

I am supposed to put a progressive splint on Ember's elbow for several hours each day. It isn't going very well.
She does NOT appreciate it in the least. Even with no tension on the splint she cries. No, she screams. Until I take it off she either cries or repetitively begs "off? off?" or "all done!" She just can't understand yet that this is meant to help her. All she feels right now is discomfort. Sometimes I wonder if the splint is worth it. Will it even matter? Will it work? Can I (and Ember) endure this for the next few months? Surgery is our other option. Would that be easier? Will we end up there anyway? I need a crystal ball.
I hate doing this to her.


  1. I want to cry looking at these pictures so can only imagine how hard this is for you and she both. Hoping a mom with experience with arthrogryposis can offer you some advice about what works best and what is or is not worth it. Hugs and prayers from a sympathetic stranger.

  2. Lorene, I know your heart aches when you have to "do this to her"... I hated taking Joseph beginning at 6 days old for his clubfoot casting. I had to take him every week for a new one... and they did NOT do it gradually. They yanked it into the correct position and quickly casted it every week... for months. I hated it... he hated it and I thought there had to be another way... it seemed almost barbaric. He screamed the whole time. He got to where he would start screaming even before we even arrived at the hospital because he knew what was going to happen. He would scream even louder whenever he would see the doctor. There was no calming him down. He did end up having surgery... multiple ones... his last one being at 4 1/2 years old.... but he CAN walk now. One good thing is that he does NOT remember it... he was too young. It took years to get to where he is today... but he CAN walk, run, hike with the Boy Scouts, ride a bike, play basketball with his brothers, etc... You have to be the strong one for yourself... and for her. If the doctors all believe this will help her, you have to look ahead into her future... she can't. She only knows the immediate pain. I know she thinks YOU are the one hurting her.... she cannot understand the love you are doing this with. You need to, beg, God to give you the strength you need to do what is best for her. Beg Him for the wisdom you need to know what is for HER best. If HER best means that these splints will not help her and this is the way God has made her to be for a purpose only He knows right now, then nothing man can do will change it... no matter how good of intentions we may have. But if HER best means enduring this "temporary" pain, in order to be stronger later, then you need to BEG him for the wisdom to truly know and have it settled in your heart and mind. I love seeing her proud smiles... her tears make me cry too.... I AM PRAYING for you all. I wish we could talk sometime. Please give Ember a hug for us. You know we love her.
    ~~ Psalm 139:14-18 " I will praise thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect, and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee." ~~
    This is a Psalm the I have been claiming this week... I pray it will be a blessing to you also. Many hugs and prayers for you today, Grace

  3. I'm there with ya Lorene. Praying too :) We'll be back at it in less than two weeks. The break was great.
    Will it even matter ? you ask......
    all by Faith in the Lord and prayer for much grace.

  4. Lorene, I've been following your blog for some time now. Another RR Mom is going through a similar situation with her two daughters that she adopted from U. Catherine over at Francesca and Victoria are having to deal with casts and sugeries. Hopefully she can offer some encouragement. HUGS!